The alarm is ringing, The morning is already here that soon?
I woke up every day wish to close my eyes again and stay in bed, and a question pop up in my head! CAN YOU? My conscious asked.
I stay silent for a an eye blink then I answer No, I can’t.
If I answered yes, I’d be a cowered not facing my responsibilities and accept them.
That can lead me to another direction, Do I love my responsibilities??
My deep deep conscious –what does it call?- will answer NO.
But my awake mind is programmed to respect its responsibilities and deal with them, putting much effort to make the job done, even if I don’t like it, I think my mom has raised me up well.
What was the first idea of that blog? Oh, my sleep disorder due to my responsibilities, which I’m not that good doing them, but I swear to God I’m doing my best even if it’s not enough still count as the best I can do.
Did my responsibilities have shown up by their own? No, it was my choice, to be part of a family, get married and have kids, I can count that a bad idea which my mom told me “You have to be married and have kids” , yet she was always encouraging me to have a career “You have to have a job” , She wanted me to have her life, married with children, and her dream life, to have a career.
When rethinking.. Was it really my choice? Or have I got married only to make her happy? She didn’t live the two lives so she has no idea how hard to have the both.
Sorry for distracting you!! I know I do, but that’s how my mind is working, a million idea at the same time.
Back to the main idea, I have responsibilities, I don’t love them, but I have to deal with them.